Restless

October 9, 2014

Growing Old

Filed under: Health — rvchua @ 4:50 am

I know that I have a lot of white hairs since my early twenties but it is a shock to see how visible it is in the photos that were taken while we (Yoga Sugbo) visited an organic farm in Brgy. Taptap, Busay last Saturday. First impulse was to color my hair but I am scared that it would turn my whole head white afterwards. Next I want to cut it off and go really short but that won’t solve anything. For now I am wearing it in a ponytail which does not help with my falling hair problem.

In a few months, I will be turning a decade older and I don’t want to look like a haggard mom with four kids! I don’t have kids and never will have them! I have this flat tire on my middle that so far no amount of exercise is helping. I know it has something to do with what I eat. I have tried not eating meat (no pork, no chicken, no beef) 80% of the time but my weaknesses are junk food and processed food. I still look for it even if my body starts to feel bad before I finish the last cookie or chip. I tried to write down what I ate each day but it was too tedious and unsustainable. I try to veer myself away from the dangerous grocery aisles but when I am tired, sad or there are no good options, my feet automatically head into that direction. I try to eat healthy but it is not enough.

As a yogi I should accept my body as it is but I refuse to remain this way. I want to be a rocker chick like Gwen Stefani (she’s 45 and gave to her third child early this year) or comfortable in my own skin like Sandra Bullock (she’s 50!). I admit that I am scared of growing old and I dread when April is just a step away.

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