Restless

May 19, 2015

Things Change, Things Remain The Same

Filed under: Books, Money, Travel, Yoga — Tags: — rvchua @ 4:12 am

A year ago, I discovered a group of people from different aspects of life, all connected by the love of yoga. We hang out after a yoga class, joined outreach programs, even went to a retreat in Moalboal. Suddenly I found my satsang in the midst of Cebu. Everyone was special, everyone was quirky. I learned from these people, I was inspired by them. Friendships were formed, everyone was embraced with acceptance. Now I hardly see these people anymore. Some of them have moved to other places. Those that have I bonded with have formed new relationships. I think some of them may have stopped doing yoga. Once in a while there would be a gathering for yogis, a workshop, an outreach. Most of the time I would beg off, either I would be working, it is too far away, I need my rest, some other excuses. I guess it is hard to recreate the magic we had, maybe the right people came together at the right time. Who really knows? As I continue with my yoga practice, I continue to look for another satsang to be part of.

Last year, I accepted a challenge at work hoping it would mean opportunities for me. My job title remained the same but I got more work which I was not financially compensated. The new responsibilities were not a good fit for me. It gave me more stress than I wanted to have in my life. Finally it made me realize that I want to scale down my work life. I am currently looking for an online job that would cover my normal expenses and maybe even a little savings. With an online job, I will have free time for yoga, books, travel and other pleasures in life. I am still searching for an online job, for now this is what I want from the universe.

My first international travel since I came home in 2007 was last year’s business trip to Japan. It was scheduled suddenly that it left me frazzled getting my visa, my money, etc. I was not in a good mood when I left, if the Japanese immigration officer denied my entry I would have been more than happy to take the flight back home. During the two weeks I was there, I worked during the Holy Week and ignored my birthday. It was good to be back in Japan after 14 years but I was elated to come home. Last February’s trip to Kuala Lumpur was impulsive, fun and eye opening. After a long time, my wanderlust was ignited again. I want to go to Bali, Vietnam, Cambodia, India and any country with no visa for Filipinos. I am looking for a travel companion but either they have no money or have other priorities. I am afraid to go alone because I feel like I would just hole up in the hotel room instead of exploring what the place has to offer. I also have to let go of all of this negative emotion inside me, I don’t want to be burdened when I travel.

Now that I have entered another decade, I want to change direction. I want to enjoy life. I want to use the money I have saved all of these years. I want to say I have lived my life instead of merely passing time. Things change but somehow it still feels the same.

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